Still I am wondering why I do feel empty and hollow inside. Although I know.
I wish I could talk about what’s going on inside of me, speak or write about it…
Although it’s very clear I still can’t believe. I want it to be real. It’s all in my head already. This is what keeps me alive… and awake.

Why is this fecking live like it is right now. in this very moment. I know it has to be complicated like this. Especially when feelings are involved. And they are.

I don’t know what to do right now, which way to go. Maybe the best thing is to keep it going the way it’s going right now and see what’ll happen in a couple of days or weeks. Maybe I should take a couple of month off here and take a job in either Dublin or London to get a distant viw of things. Maybe this’ll help.

4 AM, I watch you sleep,
I pray to God your soul to keep..
You sound asleep, but I feel pain,
you’re in my thoughts, you’re in my head again.
I wonder what you dream, when you dream,
do you feel what I feel?